The Roller Coaster

Life seems to pass by us in a blur and in order to keep up we need to go through life at high speed. Work, school, family demand so much of our time that we feel 24 hours is not enough. We go through the daily routines of life tired missing out on the beauty God has created for us to enjoy... Or maybe this just describes me. My life in school has me pretty much on full speed. Requirements from teachers, exams, seminars, and personal life all have me tired and wishing I had 42 hours a day to finish the myriad of work that is being piled on me. But today I had a treat. Today time stopped. Today I glimpsed beauty. On my way up to my apartment I noticed a small beetle on the stairs. I stopped to look closely at it and marvelled how beautiful it was up close. It’s back was colored a shiny green, blue, yellow, and orange that all blended together leaving a beautiful medley of colors that cannot be captured in words. The sight made me catch my breath. I quickly got out my cel...

It was a long hard day. My brain had worked itself to its limit. I slumped in a chair, my mouth gaping open, steam escaping from my ears as my brain cried out for a break. Staring into space I willed my exhausted grey matter to go through my to do list for the next day. It went something like this: 1-     Wake up 2-     Finally get out of bed after hitting the snooze button for the 20th time. 3-     Take a shower (don’t fall asleep) 4-     Do your assignments in Masscom. (Don’t fall asleep) 5-     Study for exams in Masscom  (Don’t fall asleep) I was just about to get to the 6th number when my teacher dashed what little I had to pieces. Time: 5pm, Friday Setting: Classroom Subject: Masscom “Class attendance is a must for the 9am seminar tomorrow at the Masscom Studio.” “W-w-wh-wha-what??” I asked in shock. I tried frantically to grab at my to do list that was on its way out m...

I have never been exceptionally good at math. In high school I glided through math with the ease of a swimmer caught in the rapids. It was not a pretty nor graceful sight! I had to work very hard to get the final grade I got. If Math was the rapids, mental math was Niagara falls. Mental math was as excruciating to me as getting a brain tumor removed. I would literally go numb and my temples would start throbbing whenever someone asked me “What’s 65 added to 13?” (or any mathematical equation for that matter). “Uuhhmm, well... you know what, I have a terrible headache! Why don’t you just use your calculator, it’s much easier!”   I would always say.  Praise God for the most intelligent person who had the sense to invent the calculator! Needless to say my lack of speed when it came to mental math made me the laughing stock of my family.  “What’s 103 minus 65?” my dad would ask. “Uum wait! I can do it!” I would yell. “Never mind I got it, its 38.” H...

Heart why do you cry And in darkness lie Barely beating Broken and torn Crushed and bruised Why do you wear worthlessness as your cloak Fear as your bonnet Why is your head bowed low No hope in your eyes I see Your hands are scarred from holding and caring Only to be rejected and turned away Your eyes are swollen A river of tears you have cried Your mouth is bruised Unspoken thoughts, unformed words Sweet as honey has now turned bitter You deserve so much more! A healing touch A kind word One who can rip off your cloak Throw off your bonnet Lift your head Revealing the diamond underneath One who will fill your empty hands Wipe the river from your eyes And take honey from your lips You deserve so much more! But you do not believe me Oh you do not believe me So in darkness you lie In fear you remain

I miss you more than you know Not seeing your face brings tears to my eyes I want to hear your voice again The joyful peels of your laughter A huge gaping hole has replaced my heart A hole no one can fill I want to be where you are I want to embrace you once again When will this pain go away? When will I be numb to your absence? My heart is broken within me Tears are my food Sorrow my dessert You fill my mind Questions pester me Regrets creep silently in Oh how I wish I could turn back time There would be so many things I would do differently I would spend every waking moment with you I would never lose my temper I would always be patient I would never complain I would always serve you I love you so much Without you I feel so lost and alone So hopeless I fear my life will never be the same I fear sorrow will engulf me I fear I will taste no more joy I fear life without you

When your deepest, darkest desire Becomes your obsession What will you do? When its forbidden When the monster inside Struggles to get free What will you do To keep it hidden When your greatest enemy Is your beliefs Who draws the line In pursuit of your unquenchable appetite Where will you run When your desire overtakes you Where will you hide When the monster emerges To consume To devour To exhilarate To subdue As you wake from your desire Gape at the havoc you caused Your untamed monster Has slaughtered all you love Where will you run When your desire overtakes you Where will you hide When the monster emerges Run and you will be seized Your desire will consume Hide and you will be discovered Your monster will destroy Where will you run When your desire overtakes you Where will you hide When the monster emerges

In the darkness of my valley Where were you? In the sorrow of my soul Where were you? In the unheard cries of my heart Where were you? In the despair and struggle for comprehension Where were you? I cried to you with all that I had I hoped in the one I knew could save I banked on the arm not too short to save But where were you? Where did you go? The demons torment me Yet rescue did not come Darkness engulfed me Yet your light did not shine Where are you? My heart cries out Where are you? My soul weeps within me You have always been faithful and true Promises you never broke Always providing always caring Never failing your love endures But where were you? When I needed you the most Where were you? I dont understand this storm I am in I dont understand my hope put to shame I dont understand how your promises could be fulfilled I dont understand I dont understand I grasp for comfort Search for love Yearn fo...