The Roller Coaster

When grief is a drowning ocean I look to you When my world is in turmoil I look to you When my shattered heart refuses to beat I look to you When pain is my constant companion I look to you When sorrow is my food I look to you When tears freely fall I look to you When anguish threatens to tear apart I look to you When the future is bleak I look to you When happiness and joy have lost their way I look to you When peace is an elusive memory I look to you When fear and uncertainty whisper I look to you When memories start fading I look to you When the strength to get out of bed has vanished I look to you When regrets torment me  I look to you When the longing swells within I look to you When hopelessness abounds I look to you I look to you My rock and my salvation My fortress and refuge My ever present help in times of trouble The rock I cling to The hope that will not fail I look to you I trust in you 

Time stalls for no man It marches on leaving victims at its wake Opportunities lost lie trampled in its grave While weeds of regret abound She tries to pull back the hands of time Her fragile hands grasping desperately Weak arms straining under the weight Sweat and tears come rushing down Emotionless eyes, no trace of hope She wishes she could take back words uttered in darkness Deeds done at dusk Alone and afraid she clings to nothing Scarred, fragile hands fall helplessly to her side All is lost The past cannot be rewritten What’s uttered cannot be taken back Now the future looms ahead Unknown, uncharted Questions pester her nearly insane mind Doubts fill the creases of her heart Yet she takes one tiny step forward Despite the excruciating pain and immobilizing fear Another step follows Tears flowing down She yearns to look back She yearns to run back Her foot fumbles forward Her future may be unknown But it can be brighter than her past Her pace quickens as courage fills her heart ...

I miss you more than you know Not seeing your face brings tears to my eyes I want to hear your voice again The joyful peels of your laughter A huge gaping hole has replaced my heart A hole no one can fill I want to be where you are I want to embrace you once again When will this pain go away? When will I be numb to your absence? My heart is broken within me Tears are my food Sorrow my dessert You fill my mind Questions pester me Regrets creep silently in Oh how I wish I could turn back time There would be so many things I would do differently I would spend every waking moment with you I would never lose my temper I would always be patient I would never complain I would always serve you I love you so much Without you I feel so lost and alone So hopeless I fear my life will never be the same I fear sorrow will engulf me I fear I will taste no more joy I fear life without you