The Roller Coaster

When grief is a drowning ocean I look to you When my world is in turmoil I look to you When my shattered heart refuses to beat I look to you When pain is my constant companion I look to you When sorrow is my food I look to you When tears freely fall I look to you When anguish threatens to tear apart I look to you When the future is bleak I look to you When happiness and joy have lost their way I look to you When peace is an elusive memory I look to you When fear and uncertainty whisper I look to you When memories start fading I look to you When the strength to get out of bed has vanished I look to you When regrets torment me  I look to you When the longing swells within I look to you When hopelessness abounds I look to you I look to you My rock and my salvation My fortress and refuge My ever present help in times of trouble The rock I cling to The hope that will not fail I look to you I trust in you 

Heart why do you cry And in darkness lie Barely beating Broken and torn Crushed and bruised Why do you wear worthlessness as your cloak Fear as your bonnet Why is your head bowed low No hope in your eyes I see Your hands are scarred from holding and caring Only to be rejected and turned away Your eyes are swollen A river of tears you have cried Your mouth is bruised Unspoken thoughts, unformed words Sweet as honey has now turned bitter You deserve so much more! A healing touch A kind word One who can rip off your cloak Throw off your bonnet Lift your head Revealing the diamond underneath One who will fill your empty hands Wipe the river from your eyes And take honey from your lips You deserve so much more! But you do not believe me Oh you do not believe me So in darkness you lie In fear you remain

I miss you more than you know Not seeing your face brings tears to my eyes I want to hear your voice again The joyful peels of your laughter A huge gaping hole has replaced my heart A hole no one can fill I want to be where you are I want to embrace you once again When will this pain go away? When will I be numb to your absence? My heart is broken within me Tears are my food Sorrow my dessert You fill my mind Questions pester me Regrets creep silently in Oh how I wish I could turn back time There would be so many things I would do differently I would spend every waking moment with you I would never lose my temper I would always be patient I would never complain I would always serve you I love you so much Without you I feel so lost and alone So hopeless I fear my life will never be the same I fear sorrow will engulf me I fear I will taste no more joy I fear life without you

I see the world through frosted glass Oblivious to the dangers around A little child with eyes of trust Arms stretched and open wide Seeing, hearing, touching, tasting My senses tingling with pleasure All I taste is sweet All I see desirable All I smell pleasant Don't wake me from my dream The Utopia of my world I have heard of the world behind frosted glass Pain Sorrow Grief Despair I want no part! Leave me safe inside these walls I have no desire to emerge! A little child I want to be Forever more Contented I lived Lacking nothing Wanting nothing Needing nothing But you were not content You took a weight and shook my walls Again and again But my refuge remained intact I was safe behind frosted glass Stubbornly you persisted Wanting me to taste your pain Your sorrow Your grief Frosted glass shattered My walls finally fell I lie awake in the darkness Fearful of the monsters that lurk in the unknown Truth a...