The Roller Coaster

I can barely breathe Tears roll down my cheeks Unanswered questions Unmet expectations Dashed hopes All leave me senseless Words you spoke haunt me Save me! The darkness is closing in Save me! The fire is burning Save me! I am drowning Drowning in sorrow My strength is drained My resolve is weak My voice is mute Help me! As I face the giant before me Help me! As I struggle to stand Help me! To know that I am not alone I am not alone I cannot do this on my own A rag doll slumped in the corner Pick me up Hold me tight Protect me in your arms Want me  Fill me with joy Pick me! Out of all the toys in the store Pick me! Breathe life into me! I will dance  I will sing for you Call me by name Make me yours Forever You have bought me with a price I am yours I am yours You have picked me!

I sit slumped on the shelf staring out into the street I glance at my left and envy the perfect body of the Barbie I glance to my right and admire the talkative teddy He speaks words of love to everybody I catch my reflection on the bumper of the fire engine across me My electric red hair is array A half painted smile is on my face My huge eyes are framed by 4 lashes My body is limp and without form A small heart is painted on my chest I  have no voice to reveal whats in my heart I have no special features Just myself I stare out the window my heart bursting with desire Desire to be picked, out of all the shiny, beauty around me Out of all the cuddly toys To be loved as myself Not having to change I wait Day in and day out Sunrise to sunset I wait for the day excitement will cross a face She will grab me from the shelf and hold me tight against her heart Not wanting to let go she will take me home Part of her life i will live A...

Dear Lord, Help me When the pain is crushing And the tears threaten to spill  When rage and jealousy consumes me Quiet me with your love Do not allow hatred to destroy me And take residence in my heart Help me to see beyond my pain To what you are doing Give me your eyes to see my circumstances The fire that is refining me Though painful, will make me pure Though i feel as if i cannot go on When waves of doubt and fear threaten to drown me Help me to know that you will not leave me in my weakness That in my weakness you are my strength I am not alone Your hand is ready to grasp mine Your strong arm is not too short to save You are carrying me through this storm Help me to be secure in your love for me Secure in my identity in you Help me to love those who crush me To show kindness and compassion To those who plot my downfall Help me to walk in your light Allow me to experience your love To know without a doubt Your a...

I go through the cyclic routine of life Deaf to beauty, blind to wonder I do what I must, thirsting for so much more I yearn for your hand to reach through the abyss of time To turn my world right-side up I crave for your reality, your Kairos moments Open heaven and come bursting forth Riding a chariot of clouds Sunlight emanating from the golden strands of your hair Eyes piercing like fire Voice shaking oceans, leveling mountains Come and ruin me Cause me to fall to my knees Upset the daily grind I am caught in Bring my rat race to a stop Unlock my ears, unveil my eyes Unfold the plans you have for me Show me beauty, leave me in awe I want to walk in your path Walk in your reality Come

You lead me into the desert Into a desolate wasteland Where nothing grows and no one’s present Where I find no shelter from the scorching heat No refuge from the cold Where I am stripped naked, bare and ashamed For I have run away from you my love I have given myself to another I have been unfaithful It is right that you bring me here It is right that you punish me Yet when our eyes meet instead of anger I see love Instead of fury I see understanding Instead of condemnation I see compassion I see a longing, a passion, a love so great that I am undone I cannot comprehend how you could love me in spite of all I have done How you could bear to look at my nakedness To gaze at my brokenness Yes you have led me to the desert And there you put your robe around me You cover my nakedness You wipe my shame You pull me into your arms You speak tenderly of your love Oh your sweet love is better than wine! You leave me intoxicated There in that d...

Where are you? I can’t seem to see you in my life You who were always by my side now seem to have vanished Where are you? I can’t seem to feel your arms around me I was once so secure and comfortable Now I feel so vulnerable Where are you? The intensity of your voice has diminished I once heard a shout but now I catch a faint whisper Where are you? I am hopeless and confused without you You are my life, my song, the very breath I breathe Can’t you see I’m distraught? Can’t you see I’m hopelessly lost? Can’t you see I’m fighting for air as I sink into the depths of despair? When will you come as a prince on a white steed? When will you extend your hand and save me from the waters that threaten to overcome me? When will you swing your sword and admonish justice on my behalf? Come to my rescue my love! Don’t leave me in the hands of your enemies! Come quickly! Please don’t hide your face from me For you are all I have You are all I’m living...